Have you ever found yourself juggling the weights of life, emotions tightly packed away? Our newest conversation unearths the silent struggles of men's mental health, where we take our masks off. With a blend of raw personal stories, we navigate through the complex intersection of masculinity and vulnerability. We reflect on the legacies of parenting, the bonds and breaks in family relationships, particularly the poignant narratives of father-son dynamics. Whether it's the pain of a parent's absence or the courage to mend strained ties, we share the stories that shape us, not just as individuals but as a community. It's not just about the challenges, though. We lay bare our coping mechanisms, from the solitude of a motorcycle ride to the camaraderie of friendships and mentors, revealing how these experiences carve paths to resilience and growth.
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Have you ever found yourself juggling the weights of life, emotions tightly packed away? Our newest conversation unearths the silent struggles of men's mental health, where we take our masks off. With a blend of raw personal stories, we navigate through the complex intersection of masculinity and vulnerability. We reflect on the legacies of parenting, the bonds and breaks in family relationships, particularly the poignant narratives of father-son dynamics. Whether it's the pain of a parent's absence or the courage to mend strained ties, we share the stories that shape us, not just as individuals but as a community. It's not just about the challenges, though. We lay bare our coping mechanisms, from the solitude of a motorcycle ride to the camaraderie of friendships and mentors, revealing how these experiences carve paths to resilience and growth.
Podcast Website: https://clearlysaidpodcast.buzzsprout.com
X: https://x.com/clearlysaidpod?s=21
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553826497885&mibextid=YMEMSu
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clearlysaidpodcast?igsh=MWZzMTFteXVhMTd6Zg==
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clearly.said.podc?_t=8jfBsQ1jOxD&_r=1
You may be able to push through something that may break me, but everybody has to be able to push through some things. Like if I was like, oh, it's just really draining me to go to work and this and the third, like I had a rough month at work before. Like you'd be like, man bro, this is hard.
Speaker 1:But, what am I going to do? Quit my job. Let me clear my throat so everything I say here can be clearly said. Y'all welcome back. It's Josh Boom Chad, all right, and we're here to do another episode, and look. First of all, I just want to let everybody know that I appreciate all the support, all the love. I'm overjoyed to be doing this and I really enjoy it.
Speaker 4:Facts, Me too man.
Speaker 1:So, look, we're going to hit the ground running with a really important episode. You know, I know we kind of keep it lighthearted sometimes and we joke and this, that. And the third we want to bring the whole human experience to this podcast. That's what we said, you know, when we started it. But today we want to talk about mental health, and men's mental health specifically, something that over the past couple years has been discussed more, but in some circumstances it may not be discussed enough, and that's what we're here to talk about today. So I'm going to ask both of y'all guys a quick question what is mental health to you, jazz?
Speaker 3:uh, mental health is like like how you feeling. You know I'm saying like how you, how you feeling, how you interact with certain people, interact with certain situations. You know, I'm saying how to make you feel, like how to make your mind feel and stuff like that, like depression or this make me give me anxiety and things like that. So that's my take on it All right.
Speaker 1:What about you, Gomer?
Speaker 4:I feel like mental health is something that actually take over the mindset. I mean, that's what mental health so your regular thinking, for example? Let's say, you have a day-to-day thing that you do. Well, when you're dealing with mental health, it actually knocks you off your actual plans. I feel like that's what it is.
Speaker 1:I got you.
Speaker 1:And I did look up before the show started, look up the definition of and this is per the CDC. Mental health includes our emotional, psychological and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others and make healthy choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life childhood, adolescence and adulthood. So you know, everything y'all said basically was the definition of mental health and I would kind of think that same thing like mental health would be. You know how you're able to, I guess, um, function in a normal capacity, whatever we would think normal would be. So piggybacking off of that like how do you take care of your mental health?
Speaker 3:I just like one thing that helped me, that's what helped me over the years. Like when I'm going through something, my mental is not right, like bro, I really just go hoop, like basketball. Is that one thing for me that take my mind off anything I'm going through. If I ain't feeling right and I just get a text, be like hey bro, we finna go to the pile. Hoop Bro, I'm happy to go because I'm like bro, maybe that, like even on days that I ain't feeling myself, I get a text like hey, bro, we hooping at the pile later on. Yeah, like that, I be like bet, like that's like my enjoyment for real, especially being proactive lifting weights, running.
Speaker 4:I mean honestly as a child, that's what helps me. You know what I'm saying. What helps me as a man today, I really just care less. I try to shed it off, Even though I care. I shed it off mentally. It could be a previous girlfriend, or it could be my kids, or it could be my mother, or it could be my kids, or it could be my mother, or it could be my job. I just shed my feelings off. It's hard to do, but over the years you know you can actually cope it.
Speaker 1:Rasta, how do you take care of your mental health? I do a lot of different things, but that's an interesting topic, because everybody's mental health is important.
Speaker 4:You said what you try to keep myself busy, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, floyd.
Speaker 2:For the most part, I'm going to piggyback off of Chaz when it comes to taking care of myself. As far as the mental health side is, hooping, I go, hoop and I clear my mind. If I can't hoop, I ride my motorcycle, because when you ride a bike, you gotta, you gotta clear your head to operate, to operate, you gotta be aware of everything. So I normally ride my bike or I hoop.
Speaker 1:Okay, tell me this. Tell me this then, because I was gonna ask y'all do you think your coping mechanism, which is basketball fitness, uh, staying busy hooping as well, do you think that fixes the problem? Because have you ever gotten on your motorcycle and your mental been so messed up that you couldn't ride? Because you just said, in order to ride, you got to stay focused? Have you ever had something going on so bad? Like bro, I can't even ride.
Speaker 2:No, because once you get on that bike, you got to focus on that bike. It's a difference than getting in a car. If I get in a car, maybe I that. Whatever is bothering me, I may. It may deter my driving or anything but riding a motorcycle, you have to be focused, because you're not only riding for yourself, you're riding for the people around you as well, so when I get on the bike, my head is clear it's just me, the bike and the road, and the people around me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but like you said, Pogue, like them days, you just can't get it off your mind. I done had days, I done went to hoop and.
Speaker 3:I just couldn't get it off my mind. And by me not knowing how to deal with what's going on, like right, then that shit might turn into anger for a little minute. And that's when you get into Arguing on the court. You get to Damn near, get to fighting With somebody and they don't even got Nothing to do with you, but you just you just going at you just feeling extra tough, or you mad Cause you ain't, cause you can't deal what you deal with how you supposed to, or you ain't been talked to. So some days I done went to the gym, you went to Front Street, just tripping yeah.
Speaker 4:Like Trying to fight everybody.
Speaker 1:Because you upset about something else.
Speaker 3:It wasn't even just me trying to fight. I might just you know how, like you talk crazy, you know you got your basketball talk.
Speaker 4:Anybody can get it at this point.
Speaker 3:But I'm taking it too far.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh, you a bitch, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like bad, like what's going on in court. Well, I'm glad you said that because I mean I try to take notes, I don't forget. So a question later on I was going to ask is where is that question there? So how can we, how can men balance their duties as men?
Speaker 1:uh, the essence of manhood you know, we talked about that uh decisiveness, masculinity, leadership, protection and provision, while at the same time being aware of their mental health. So you just said you know what I'm saying. You came in you feeling extra tough, quote unquote. I know you were just saying that how do men like say, okay, I'm still a man, but I'm dealing with something. You know what I'm saying? Because people look at the aggressiveness as how much of a man. A man is, I guess, right, which that's not the total thing. But how do we balance that? How do we balance still being a man and then focusing on your mental health? Because I've heard men say like, oh, just don't worry about it, or just shrug it off or whatever. Or my cousin, he got a saying. He say men are meant to carry hard times and billfolds. He was basically saying people don't care. You know what I'm saying. You got to do what you got to do and you got to pay the bills All right Facts.
Speaker 3:It's a I ain't going to lie. It is tough trying to balance that. Like you knowing, at the end of the day I'm a man, like I'm a man, like I'm a man and I deal with everything head on. But on the flip side, bro, like I'm going through something too and I don't, like I don't open up to people, like I don't talk about what I've been through in my life, what I've done been through lately, nothing to nobody, cause I'm like, just like he said, people done been through lately, nothing to nobody, because I'm like, just like he said people don't care about me and feeling, bro, yeah, now they know.
Speaker 3:And like people like and I do got some people in my corner that truly care about me that I can tell them stuff. But like I don't even tell them everything, like I can tell them what's going on surface level, like if, because something happened right, then I'd be like man, I'm mad because of this. But me just telling them what's going on in me, why I feel the way I feel about my life, about stuff I've been through, I've never, ever, opened up to nobody and told them nothing. So people just see me, like I said, they just see me and think, oh, chad ain't going through nothing. He always happy, smiling, shit, bro, I be going through nothing, you know, he always happy, smiling, shit, bro, I'd be going through it. But like the people, like it was uh something, uh, channing crowder said on the pivot. He said, uh, the one that you see making everybody else happy and smiling, that's the one you need to be asking what's wrong so like, but people don't like don't really ask me what's wrong.
Speaker 3:So that's why I don't never just be like special feelings, yeah, I don't ever express my feelings in do you think you would, though?
Speaker 1:you think if somebody came to you and was like cj, let's talk, you know what's really going on, do you think you would tell them? Or you think you just be like trying? To hide that thinking they may think you weak or they may think you crazy or like you really don't care for real, no way um, I believe I would, because I've been wanting to get a lot of stuff out of me, like just off me.
Speaker 3:That's been going on. So that's why I was like glad we're doing the episode, so some stuff I'm gonna open up about and let y'all know. People gonna know, instead of be like damn, like dude, really be going through some stuff, he just hold it together Like I'm just holding it together Right now, just talking like this. Right now I'm feeling like I'm anxious because, like I ain't never talked about nothing like this, but it was preached to us.
Speaker 4:I don't know if y'all mothers taught y'all this, but my mama taught me not to cry. You know what I'm saying. Be that tough-hearted person and it can hurt you or hinder you over time.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying. If you never open up or if you never like express your feelings, it can pretty much damage you mentally. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So, yeah, I feel the same way as you feel bro yeah, I rarely talk to anybody about anything close friends, of course. I don't even talk to my mama about stuff. You know what I'm saying? Because she, I feel like she can't relate or she might judge me, and that's the big, that's the biggest thing yeah, that's another.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like I don't want to judge me, so that's the reason why I'd rather not express my feelings right, so are you going to teach baby bone not to cry?
Speaker 4:Nah, I teach him to cry today, Like being on that prime example. I coach him as a football athlete and this year he realized like yeah, I'm good, but good is not enough. If you're being lazy or you're being disrespectful or you got bad grades, your ass going to sit on that fucking sideline. And this year was the hardest year for him because I was all for it. I was all for him learning to sit his ass on that sideline and watch everybody else play.
Speaker 4:Everybody else didn't understand him. My mama didn't understand, his mama didn't understand. Well, honestly, y'all don't have to understand, because, guess what? I did it before, right? You know what I'm saying. I was that main athlete, I was that good person. You know what I'm saying? I had bad grades. And they let me buy, though they let me buy.
Speaker 1:And you saw how it affected you.
Speaker 4:I saw how it affected me long term. I had to teach myself how to read. You know what I'm saying. I had to teach myself how to pass a fucking state test. It's at a basic level. I don't want my son to go through that. So I'm glad we're having this conversation today. Yeah, let's put everything out on the tape. Let's do it.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that. So at what point did you realize you were going to have to take your reading into your own hands? Until this very moment, I did not know that.
Speaker 3:Very so, reading into your own hands. Until this very moment I did not know that Very moment, I did not know that You've been my closest friend since we was kids.
Speaker 4:See, I had to slick, hide it for years, like for years, man, for years. And that was the only thing that somebody could say about me you know what I'm saying my reading skills. It went to the certain level it should have been and I always made an excuse we in Mississippi Lower's reading scale, but really and truly so. When I started school I ended up getting asthma.
Speaker 4:And when I got asthma when I was like in third or second grade or something like that, I was in the hospital. The second grade or something like that, I was in the hospital the whole time because they didn't know what was going on. So my fourth grade year, pretty much, they jumped me over to my fourth grade year. You missed all the third and they just put you in fourth. I missed all the inner second, all the third, and they just threw me into the fourth grade year. Damn, and I was in special ed. You know what I'm saying. The only people I knew was Matt McIntosh and LaBria. So those are my best two friends of all time because they knew, but they still treated me the same. You feel me. So this whole time, everybody else learning.
Speaker 4:I'm still at the same level because they threw me in special ed.
Speaker 1:So you were always a year and a half behind.
Speaker 4:Right, let's fast forward to seventh grade. My mama asked me do you want to continue on being in special ed or do you want to do it on your own? I said mama, I want to do it on my own. My friend's doing it, I want to do it on my own. I want to try it on my own. Second grade I was in regular classes, learning everything myself. I'm trying to catch up on everything that everybody else was taught. I'm catching myself up the whole time doing it on my own did you do that?
Speaker 1:because you didn't want to be teased? Because as a preteen, you know, and a teenager, that's what you are. In middle school, definitely you feel like, okay, peer pressure is tough or did you do it? Because you really felt you could do it on your own I did it.
Speaker 4:I did it on my own to show that I can do it all right, and as a kid coming into that situation, you can easily just be like I need help. Yeah, no, not me. I. I actually wanted to do it on my own, so I wanted to prove it. I wanted to prove myself, okay, so yeah.
Speaker 3:Damn bonus.
Speaker 1:Damn.
Speaker 3:I ain't know that. Yeah, I did not know that.
Speaker 1:So in saying that and revealing that to the people, you know, you've had to suppress that now, for we're 30 and 31 years old respectively, so you you've had to suppress that for 16 years. You say going into your seventh grade year right. How do you think that affects your mental health daily, because you now approach situations knowing that your education level is not that of your peers right you know, because if we be 1000, most people only got a middle school or high school reading level anyway you know what I'm saying, like to be able to really read, recall, spell and comprehend words.
Speaker 1:Most people only got a lower level anyway, so but how has that affected you? Like your confidence level going in?
Speaker 4:because they don't know. You know right, I know. So I'm pretty much I know everything. So let's fast forward from 7th grade to 12th grade. Of course, I didn't pass the reading state test. Okay, you know what I'm saying, so everything's starting to make sense. Of course, I didn't get help all the way, 7th through 12th. So, just imagine you like pretty much winging it all the way to your 12th grade year and and people pushing you through, pushing you through like no help at all.
Speaker 1:Well and well, it's like you know I'm saying, if they see you struggling, they're like well, I'll give you this.
Speaker 4:He's a good athlete. Let me just go ahead and just give him a couple points, but do you think they did that? Because they don't forget what you're?
Speaker 1:about to say. Do you think they did that because they don't forget what you was about to say? Do you think they did that because they cared about you? Because I can see a teacher saying I care about Tenarius. I don't want him to be left behind, so I'm going to push him.
Speaker 3:Because, if I know, there's one teacher I've seen here that cared about us, miss Manny bro, yes, I walked past her class, her class the day that she found out he didn't pass his reading state test, bro she was crying. Yeah, because she felt like she failed him.
Speaker 4:She failed me, but it wasn't her fault, she felt like.
Speaker 1:I was in 12th grade at the time. It wasn't your fault.
Speaker 4:It wasn't your fault. It was 12th grade at the time.
Speaker 1:That just kind of made me feel a way.
Speaker 3:Like Parks, like it might have been me and Josh. We walked past her, but she was crying and we both went in there and just gave her a hug and was like Ms Manley, it ain't your fault, that's still one of them. That's like my favorite teacher, she was actually one that actually cared For real.
Speaker 1:Still to this day, because it was me and Madden.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we was all in the same class, but even still to this day, like if you see, I done seen her A couple places, but like she ask about it All of us.
Speaker 1:I got her on the book.
Speaker 3:And she still care about all of us, like she want to know, like how we doing and everything. So, like she, one of them Rare teachers that Actually care about you After you leave High school.
Speaker 4:And it's like I hate that. It's like that Because as a teacher, you got so much pressure on you. It's so much pressure 12th grade you trying to get these students on to the next level.
Speaker 1:That's true.
Speaker 4:And you really bought a relationship with these kids. You know what I'm saying and if they don't pass, it hurts you in your soul. So I definitely understand. But I want her to know it's wasn't her fault, even the teachers before. It's not y'all fault either. Honestly, it's nobody's fault, it just happened.
Speaker 3:It's big bro.
Speaker 4:But let's fast forward from 12th grade. I actually went to Mississippi State, though I actually got my degrees and stuff like that. Like I said, I taught myself how to read, so it's a great story at the end, but my early stage.
Speaker 3:It's your journey. It was my trauma. You know what I'm saying. It's your journey. It's part of your journey.
Speaker 4:So I got mine. I had to fight for it, I had to teach myself for it.
Speaker 1:But at the end end I did get it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, so how do?
Speaker 1:you think you're, and this is, this is a. How do you think your upbringing affected not only your mental health but your education? Because, you already said, your mom taught you not to cry, and let me preface this by saying whatever we say about our upbringing me, you, you, you, our parents are only able to teach us what they know.
Speaker 4:What they know. Yeah, and it's not.
Speaker 1:Nobody's parent was set out. Like I'm finna, screw my kid over.
Speaker 4:Right, and don't get me wrong, she didn't verbally say don't cry, she said it in her actions. I got you, you know what I'm saying. Like Stuff she went through.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, she went through. She didn't cry, so like it was showing you like be tough, son, don't cry like a girl like no, that's basically around the same thing as don't cry because she having to be tough raising two sons.
Speaker 4:She have to be tough raising two sons. She wanted to be.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying she can't get in her feminine cause she gotta raise two boys that's the same same thing with my mom, like my mama, my brother, like that's all it's been. Like just Like growing up, seeing her, like Seeing my mama go through Some of the things she had to go through, like Maybe Miss a meal today, just so my two kids can have A good meal to eat, right, you know what I'm saying. Like and you seeing your mama Go through that, like Like Even till, like even till today, it still bothers me because I'm like bro, my mama really went through a lot, bro, like no help at all, just me, her and my brother, two kids.
Speaker 3:You know back then people weren't getting paid a lot and she made it happen, bro, like. So that's why, like she, my mama is like my biggest hero. Like, so that's why, like she, my mama is like my biggest hero, like that's my best friend. Like, and like you said, like I don't even tell her everything, cause I'm like my mama, like she go through Enough daily, like Still like going through what she go through In her life. I don't wanna I'm sure she don't wanna Her son what she do, want her son To come to her Open up. But I don't want to see my mama have to see my mama see me cry.
Speaker 4:Yeah, on top of that.
Speaker 3:Cause that's gonna hurt her. Cause my mama's, like she, very soft hearted when it come to her kids, her grandkids. So I come to her. She see me cry. I don't want to see her cry, right? So you know I just that's why I keep all this shit bottled in.
Speaker 4:Thanks, go ahead, poke Talk to us.
Speaker 1:First of all, you know, um, you know, we, we joke around with each other, you know, and we we are rough with each other, and I never knew that about you and it if I ever said anything that made you feel a way, bro.
Speaker 3:I apologize, bro. Yeah, me too, I apologize. None of us.
Speaker 4:Listen, that actually made me. You know what I'm saying. That made me. So all the jokes, or whatever, because guess what? I was giving them bitches back, nah yeah, you was giving them back.
Speaker 2:That's what I told you.
Speaker 4:So I'm going to cover up for whatever you would never know when I hid it for so long.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying, and that's what I like about our friendship. Not even with us. But our whole class is like everybody. We all joke on each other, but everybody know, Ain't nobody trying to be disrespectful?
Speaker 1:Yeah, ain't nobody trying to be respectful we ain't joking?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and we know as a class if we need anybody in our class bro they going to be there for us. Like that's one thing I can say about our friendship and our, you know, whole little class as a whole, like if anybody going through something, bro, the whole class be there for them.
Speaker 1:That's a fact. Yeah, they'll definitely rise up. That Lexi, like she's sweet. Hey, y'all sit's.
Speaker 3:go to the city, yeah, man she be going Like bro, she gonna. She take her money for flowers, anything, yeah, man.
Speaker 4:so shout out to class of 2012,. Man, we really appreciate y'all CJ Bone?
Speaker 1:do y'all think that your humor was a big way for you to cope with the aspects?
Speaker 3:of the things going on in your life. You know what I'm telling you, bro like.
Speaker 3:Just me being able, like just me Coming to school, just being able to Make y'all boys laugh, or just make the school laugh, like bro that was. That was a coping thing For me too. Cause I'm like bro, like if people knew, like, what I was going through At home, or Cause I didn't want Nobody to feel sorry for me. So I'm like, I'm not even finna tell y'all what's going on. I'm just finna, come to school, be funny, disrupt the class, which I'm not doing it to be.
Speaker 1:Disrespectful to the teacher, but you just.
Speaker 3:That's just my outlet, like, cause I'm holding so much in, it's gonna have to come out, but I'm just making it come out In a funny way, like, and that's the best medicine, yeah like.
Speaker 3:Your best medicine is laughing. But even though I was doing it the wrong way, I'm doing it in class while the teacher trying to teach. But I'm like bro, this all I know, and it's nothing like like I had some like I did have. Like I said, ms Manley, and people they'll, they, they pull you to the side and ask what's wrong? Right, right, right you, so they understand, like, okay, this is why he come in here and eat. But, like some of them, teachers just didn't care. They didn't, they just quick-teamed to the principal and the principal some of them definitely didn't care.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean some of them didn't understand. But I'm glad that you said that, because I do want to give a couple shout-outs to a couple teachers that actually helped me get to the level that I actually went to. You know what I'm saying, and it's hard to teach yourself a certain skill as a child and go so far. So I do want to thank Ms Manley. I do want to thank Ms Fremont I don't know if y'all know Ms Fremont I do want to thank Craig Humphrey. You know what I'm saying. He definitely helped me out too. And even the coaches, though. Like even the coaches, like not I ain't gonna say me personally Tupelo coaches, but the peewee coaches man.
Speaker 1:I was finna say yeah them, the ones that really had y'all. They really did Kenny Kenny Coach.
Speaker 3:Kenny yeah, yeah, but it's a prime example.
Speaker 4:Like, whatever you teach these young kids, they gonna take it forever, and they was teaching us At six years old. So just imagine, if I still remember it, at 30.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying. So yeah, y'all keep that up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely shout out to Like there's some coaches that Like Like Coach Head. Facts Coach Head Like I just seen him. Two weeks ago we went to Algoma For my grandma's birthday To eat at the Seafood place. Man, he walked in but my face just lit up, bro, he seen me. He was like, oh man, look at my son and like that's Like Coach Head. Just don't like bro. Coach Head, if you ever see this bro, you just don't know. Like bro, you mean the world to me. Like I call you my second dad or anything Like because you took the time out with me. Like you used to tell me that you love me and like I ain't never like. Everybody know. Like bro, my dad was in prison.
Speaker 4:Man.
Speaker 3:It felt uncomfortable because I ain't never had a man tell you I love you.
Speaker 1:Like I never had that Wait, wait, wait. You never had a man tell you I love you. No, no, so that would have been freshman year, Right yeah.
Speaker 3:So like Like real deal. Genuine love too, though yeah like he showed it, so y'all guys Like he.
Speaker 1:So how did that feel when you heard that, like because it had to be a it. When you heard that, because there had to be a it made me feel uncomfortable, like I said it, made me feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I ain't never had a man tell me what I ain't have no dad.
Speaker 2:I ain't never had a man say I love you.
Speaker 3:And I'm not saying that to be yeah, but you just said Because I live with my dad, that's why it's so foreign to me.
Speaker 4:Of course the immature people out there are not going to understand. But the real deal people. You know what I'm saying. Y'all know where we're coming from. When we say we never had our actual man that's our father or not our father pretty much put us to the side and say I love you. That means so much.
Speaker 3:Bro, Coach Hale was the first man that cried with us.
Speaker 1:I can see that yeah, yeah, nah like bro.
Speaker 3:He sat us in the locker room, bro, and he told us about his life, about his life, about his dad, like what he was going through right then, like how he was dealing like. And he, bro, I just started like bro about his wife, and that's what. Let me know, bro, it's a height to cry, bro, like uh, yeah, you can go yeah go ahead.
Speaker 1:So, like I was saying, you know that's a foreign thing to me. You know, because everybody has a different upbringing and I was blessed to be able to be raised in the home of my dad, and so my dad was able to tell me from the beginning he loved me and be around, shout out to the big man, as we call my dad.
Speaker 4:Yeah, shout out to your brother. Reverend, it's the Bishop Edwards Park.
Speaker 1:So we know that who Time out. What did he say, edwards Park?
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 4:Clarence, my bad, this man just made something up.
Speaker 3:Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 4:He coping, he coping, he trying to cry hey, we hold it together right now, yeah, yeah, but uh, how did that?
Speaker 1:was it right? That's, that's the code word the voice breaking. How? How did you and your father repair y'all's relationship when he came home? Because, as a young man, you thinking, bro, you haven't been here for whatever reason. Children don't know why you not there, they just know you not there and it's like I don't care what you not there, they just know you not there and it's like I don't care what you got going on. If you was in the hospital, bro, you wouldn't hear. So how did y'all repair their relationship and how has that affected your mental health to this day?
Speaker 3:Man, it's one of the ones. He, I ain't gonna lie. Like I was talking on the phone With my cousin the other night. I had told her, like I, this is something they don't know about, you know, he don't even know, but if he watch you, you know He'll, he'll find out.
Speaker 3:But, um, but, my dad was the first person To break my heart. Wow, like For real, bro, like you, um, for real bro, like you, um, yeah, he was the first person to break my heart, man, because, you know, every little boy want to grow up with their dad, bro, and, um, you know, I do remember him going to prison because I was like three, four, but it's just some stuff as a child you don't forget, right, right. But then it's just the fact of, like, bro, you're growing up, bro, you see some of your friends, like they chilling with their daddy, I go over to their house, them and their daddy chilling, they grilling, and um, it just be time. Like we'd be on the phone, like he'd be like you know, son, I love you man, I'll be home soon. Or he'd be like man, they just said I'm coming home, say February, say February 15th. But this is back when.
Speaker 1:I'm young.
Speaker 3:Like okay, bad, so I'm you getting ready for February 15th. People ain't knowing, like my mom ain't knowing, that I'm looking forward to February 15th. I'm not showing them, I'm looking forward to it. I'm just in my mind. I'm keeping up with the days. February 15th come when you at, where you at, where you at I don't see you. I find out man or my auntie be like well, he got to fight or he got caught with a phone, he got set back.
Speaker 3:Or he so. But in my mind I'm like bro, like damn bro, you don't love me enough to stay out of trouble to come home to your son and your daughter, like at the time you know what I'm saying you got kids out here, bro, and you just in there. Just you know you finna come home and you turn around and you get caught with a phone or you get to fight. Like bro, just I'm thinking. And then I'm like I'm thinking about falling on my mom, like bro now. Like I said, bro, it's just us. I ain thinking about father on my mom. Like bro now. Like I said, bro, just us.
Speaker 3:I ain't had no daddy. I had two uncles that I love to death, that my father figures chris jones and boo kelly. You know I tell y'all all the time. You know I'm gonna tell y'all again now. I love y'all. I appreciate y'all for stepping up in that father role for me and my brother. You know what I'm saying. Uh, like, and they was young, they wasn't grown, grown yet they was young. They wasn't grown, grown yet they was.
Speaker 3:My uncle might have been, he was still in high school. My uncle Boo was still in high school. My uncle Chris was still in college but but they stepped up big time. They like I. I called them my dads, like people ask I. Gerald Smith is my biological father, but my dad is my Uncle, boo and Chris. But, like I said, yeah, but he was the first person to break my heart, bro, because then, when he got out, it was like to this day it's still hard to get something established. I'm like, bro, you missed out. You got out when I was 18, bro, I'm going to college. I'm basically grown Like bro. I had to go through Some stuff on my own, teaching myself Some stuff that you supposed to teach me. Like my mama Shouldn't have been the one To teach me how to Pee, not pee.
Speaker 4:But I understand, yeah, but like yeah, yeah, but you right though. Yeah, like my mama taught me how to pee, she got a little hot dog and she said this your wee. You know what I'm saying I can see you doing that. You're like yeah, so that's what you know.
Speaker 3:But my mom. She had been the one to teach me how to use a condom.
Speaker 1:Like she didn't like teach me Right, right, right, but she explained it.
Speaker 3:She was like son, this is a condom. This is what you use it for. Right man? My best friend, one of my best friends, taye Watkins, big, do something. He taught me how to drive. He came pick me up one day. I think you might have been in the car with him when you had the little hatchback we was finna go.
Speaker 3:So he said I ain't driving, you finna get in the driver's seat my first time ever. Like stuff that like y'all done had, like even y'all done had. Teach me some, I was just going to say it's just the fact, like we taught each other, yeah, yeah yeah, like me and all my friends, like the guys I grew up with. These guys like me Bone and Chick for sure had to teach each other shit Because I didn't have one of those girls without.
Speaker 4:Dad. He was having sex before me and he pretty much taught me about sex. So the whole time I'm camping like I had sex before, though he pretty much taught me about sex. So, um, the whole time I'm camping like I had sex before, though I never saw, I never. You know what I'm saying. So I'm like he told me about it. I'm like, oh okay, I'm gonna try. You know what I'm saying, I did it. I'm coming back happy as hell telling him my experience, like but Try it like it's just A backflip or something.
Speaker 4:At that point. That's what it was though.
Speaker 3:But you know, like there's some stuff Like you want to come back and tell your daddy Be like hey, dad, I just, I just did it for the first time. He be like Damn son, for real. He be like hey, did you strap Right? I Right, I ain't had it.
Speaker 1:And that's why it's so important too. And don't forget your thought. That's why it's so important, too, to have this.
Speaker 1:So, you, can you know what I'm saying? Bounce those ideas off of other guys and learn stuff from other guys. Man, that touched me too, that Tay Watkins did that for you. Shout out to Tay, because that's a way that men you know what I'm saying. Like he knew, my boy don't know how to drive and his dad is not in his life. I ain't, finna, make no big deal out of it. Here are the keys you drive.
Speaker 1:But, really and truly he was bringing you along. He like bro, I'm teaching you how to drive, and men just do things in a different way.
Speaker 2:But that was love. And to piggyback off of that you know your dad's supposed to, I'm going to piggyback off of jazz too, but your, I'm going to piggyback off of Jazz too, but your dad's supposed to teach you those type of things. As far as like changing tires or changing brake pads, I'm going to be honest with you I didn't learn how to change a brake pad until last year I got a homeboy in Alabama.
Speaker 4:I still don't know how to do it.
Speaker 2:I got a homeboy in Alabama who taught me that. Shout out to him Kenny Braxton.
Speaker 3:He taught me how to change a brake pad, change of brake pads.
Speaker 2:I ain't never known how to do that and I still don't. And then how you say, like when you was younger, about how you didn't have no dad there. Man, my dad moved out the house, moved down the road, and I didn't see him After he moved out the house. It just how old were you Whoa, what the fuck. Around like 10. 10 years old.
Speaker 4:He moved down the street, down the street, bro. He moved down the street, down the street, bro.
Speaker 2:Like seeing him just faded away. I don't see him to this day.
Speaker 4:See, I was just going to say my daddy went to Ambrose I mean, that's like an hour and 30, and I never saw him until it was like my birthday or Christmas, I wasn't going to say that.
Speaker 3:I'm letting you tell your story, bro. Yeah, tell your story.
Speaker 2:He moved down the street and I didn't see him. Did y'all not press to see? When you young, you don't know, you just think he gone. He was a truck driver too. So I'm thinking like he on the road, and when he was at the house, I rarely seen him because he was a truck driver. He was on the road all the time. But this is not to Trey or nothing like that, but I used to go to Trey House all the time in high school. Right After I get out of class we go to Trey House. That's because he had his dad there and he was teaching him stuff. And then I just felt like dang man, I feel like this is my dad too, because he teaching me stuff too. So I'm learning stuff from Trey's dad. That's why me and him tight like that.
Speaker 3:But that's the same reason. I was going over to Tay and Z house every day Because Ben looked at all of his kids. But if he yelled at Tay, he going to yell at us too. But it was something he could teach us about anything. I swear, bro, you can go ask him about anything. He'll sit there and talk to you. Talk to you like a real person. Shout out to Big Ben man. So Shout out to Big Ben man.
Speaker 4:Shout out to.
Speaker 3:Big Ben and um, but yeah, like I was saying, you know, like when he came home, like when my dad came home, it was hard to get that relationship back on, cause I'm like, bro, you been gone. You ain't been here. You don't know what I've been.
Speaker 1:You ain't running shit. First off, first off. Like, yeah, like I'll say, did he try to do that? Did he try to like come in forcefully?
Speaker 3:yeah, like he tried to come in with just like I want some tell me what to do, type stuff, and I couldn't and I wasn't accepting it. Well, because I'm like, bro, you don't even know me, right, you don't know, you don't even know my favorite color, what I like to eat. I got a story. You don't like, you don't know nothing, bro, so like you can't come in trying to tell me what to do, and like, and our relationship now is still up and down, like we just got back on speaking terms because of what we're going through with our family.
Speaker 3:Like you know, my grandmother's been diagnosed with cancer.
Speaker 3:Right and that's another thing that bothers me every day, because I'm like but I don't want to wait, like like my grandma is tough, it's like she's strong, but seeing her now, her weakness, and she can't really do nothing. I can't do nothing about it, but praying, as God to you know, make her pain easy, that's all I can do. But you know, still, as a human, you want to be like bro. I want to do something, bro, but it's just nothing that I can do to see her sitting there like that. Every night I go to bed like bro, I'm just, I'm scared, I'm worried I be up all night because I just I think about so much that I've been through and so much that I go through that I just don't talk about. And you know, at night, when you're trying to get, you're supposed to be at peace, when you're going to sleep, but I do not Like bro, I'm up. Like if I don't take like a melatonin or something to help my mind calm down, bro, I'd be up all night.
Speaker 1:That's more affecting your mental health you know, what I mean, and so did you want to tell a story.
Speaker 4:I don't know if you forgot your story. Oh no, I was just going to tell a story how, like, my father tried to step in and you know, try to bone rush the situation. I bone-rush situation. I was at Malum, I guess, and I had got in trouble. It was a teacher, her name was Miss Brown. She had called my father and he came up there also like you know what I'm saying trying to discipline type and I'm looking at him like nigga. I don't know you.
Speaker 1:I ain't seen you.
Speaker 4:Like I ain't seen you, Like, yeah, we cool and cool and stuff, talked to you on christmas, my birthday, but other than that, what you here for. You know what I'm saying. And I just remember going and telling matt like, hey bro, man, miss bro call my daddy up here but we were rolling man, that shit was so goddamn funny. But yeah, yeah, that was a little funny how do men?
Speaker 1:and because I I can't relate you know, what I mean and it just is what it is. You dealt the hand you dealt. Thank God for my father. I don't see how men Because I grew up with my dad and I know you can relate to that I don't see how men can have a kid and not be there. I'm not saying you're going to be perfect At all, but I'm just saying be there, like Just be there with the kid.
Speaker 3:I don't see how Cause you would think Like every daddy Want to be in they son. Like that's your son, that's your second you. You want to show him Everything about life, like you want to be the one to do that. But Just Like I ain't saying that, my daddy wasn't there On purpose. He was locked up, it was just the life that he was living, caught up with him.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and I ain't gonna lie, pope, I've been thinking about every excuse for mine. You know what I'm saying. I haven't came up with an answer yet. Wow, he got another family, he got married. I'm pretty much convincing myself. All of these excuses, and I I haven't came up with an answer. So that's time, that's. That's the reason why I like when my sisters reach out to me, because I do have sisters, I have two of them and I have a brother. When they reach out to me and say let's go on a trip or, uh, let's do a little family union, I can't really respond the way I really want to respond. You know what I'm saying. So I'd rather not respond at all. And then when he reached out to me to see my son, now it's a no-go because first, off.
Speaker 1:He reached out to you to see Baby.
Speaker 4:Boom. Yeah, he reached out several times. The first time my mother allowed him you know what I'm saying to take my son out. But I wasn't really. You know what I'm saying. I wasn't really big on it but I was cool with it. You know what I'm saying. He's trying to amend whatever, whatever he's trying to get to know my son, or whatever. Yeah, but long story short, if he had me on that doorstool waiting on him those weekends, I'm sure he's going to do my son the same way. So that's the reason why I'd rather not trying to protect him.
Speaker 1:I feel that, yeah, yeah I, I, I can see that that's, um, that that would be a rough thing, man. You know what I mean for for you to add, as an adult you know, 31 years old to still be trying to make excuses for your father, like trying to figure out and I don't even think it's so much for him, I think, subconsciously it's for you saying he has something else going on. It's not that I wasn't worth it, you know what I mean. Like that would be tough. And so that leads me to another question I want to ask, because I can't imagine something tougher than that what is one of the toughest things that you've had to deal with when it concerns your mental health, when it concerns your life? What is the toughest battle that you're willing to share with us?
Speaker 2:that you had to go through mentally and it could be physical.
Speaker 3:You know, it could have been sick or something like that losing, um, uh, my best friend, one of my best friends in high school, torrey Morris. Like that was, that's my, that's my brother, like that's my dog, Like, like when he left, you know, like, like I said, we in high school, like and for people that don't know.
Speaker 1:He passed away in a car accident.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he passed away in a car accident. Our and for people that don't know. He passed away in a car accident. Yeah, he passed away in a car accident. Was I a senior?
Speaker 4:No, we were juniors.
Speaker 3:It might have been going into high school.
Speaker 4:It was going into 12th grade, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes, it was one of them. But you know, like bro, you're in high school, like bro, you expecting your friends to be with you all the way until y'all get grown. And when he left, bro, I'm like that was like some toughest time that I went through, going like because you still got to get up and go to school, right, yeah you gotta still got to get up, make sure you got your work done and you got practice.
Speaker 3:Just got to come home and do what you're going with at home. But on top of that, bro, you're a kid dealing with grief.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like.
Speaker 3:I'm a kid dealing with, I can't just call him up. No more be like hey, bro, come pick me up. Bro, let's go pick everybody up and go.
Speaker 3:Have you know, we used to just do like just fun stuff everyday, like just not nothing too wild, but we was wild you know, just the normal being boys, but like just knowing the fact that you couldn't, you can't call him no more, you just can't, like to this day it bothers me, bro, because like it's not a day to go by on like that. I don't think about this man like, I think about like where would I? I think about like where would I be if he was still living today, if he was still here, because, like he was a big part of me, yeah, big, positive.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like he was a big positive part of me, like bro, like when he was a big part of me, yeah, big positive, yeah, like he was a big positive part of me. Like bro, like when he left it, just it, just ever since then, everything I go through is hard to deal with, like, and I don't know how to deal with it because I ain't been taught. You know what I'm saying Like, and I'm, if anybody ever want to reach out to me and you know, talk to me. I. I open up, bro, like I just want to be, I just want to be taught how to deal with my emotion, deal with my frustration, deal what I'm going through, because I I don't know how right, that's big that you put that out there, because you know me and me and a lot of times don't want to say that they don't know um, that that was a tough one.
Speaker 1:You know I wasn't as close to Tori as some of y'all, but I definitely knew Tori. Yeah, everybody knew. And that was a tough one for not only the class but the entire community to lose somebody that was just a positive, like I couldn't find somebody to say something negative about him, you know it was funny Like one of the funny dudes you ever meet, you know, and then you lose him in that fashion and he has a child on the way, which was which compounded the trauma, you know because he has a child that'll never be able to have his dad, and that's and that's more trauma for him because, again, children don't know why you're not there.
Speaker 1:They just know you're not there. Now. This, now the young man is old enough now to comprehend yeah, my father died in an accident not too long ago.
Speaker 3:Um, the family, we all met up at his, at his gravesite, and you know I might have been his birthday, yes, his birthday. You know I'm saying uh, and you know his son, they, they went around asking everybody, do y'all want to say anything? And you know it came down to it's his son like, but you know his son, don't? His son's still in his mama's womb when he died.
Speaker 3:So his son, not even like he don't know, don't know him at all, like he don't know him, but he know that's his dad. Like bro. He was, like he had said something and bro you can just tell. Like something just hit him, but he just started breaking down crying like like bro, he know, like I'm talking, how can I put it? Like like he know his dad ain't here, but he felt his dad right then there's something missing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he feels something's missing because his dad's not there, like he feel that like something like his dad is missing, but like the dude, that's like his father role. Now the dude is great, like that's the guy that's yeah like dude stepped up and you know what I'm saying, but like I don't know.
Speaker 3:But like yeah, but that's definitely gotta be the hardest thing I done. Went through or trying to get like, just get over cause, like how they say, people heal, but I don't think you really just heal from a death of somebody like you. You just learn how to cope with. It's a scar like you know if you break your skin now, it'll never be like it was it'll have a scar over it, yeah, but it'll never be like yeah. So like, for that part, it's just like a big scar on my heart.
Speaker 4:Thanks I think my biggest trauma was, uh, when my grandmother died and I actually found her like dead, like bro. I can see her skin. It was like it was damn near gray, like I can see it now. I can literally see it now and how she was slumped and her mouth was just open like helpless. I had so many dreams about walking in there and seeing her like that. There have been so many rooms. I walked in and I'm thinking seeing that same spot or in that chair or on that couch sitting. The same way. I feel like that's very traumatizing. And then, on top of that, my mother lost herself. For years I'm talking like seven years plus, probably like 10 years plus. She lost herself trying to find herself because that was her go-to person. And just think about your go-to person is out of it because their go-to person is not here.
Speaker 1:That was, that was yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:Let me repeat that for all the people that wasn't listening. Just think about. Just think about your go-to person is out of it mentally because, their go-to person wasn't their present.
Speaker 4:Bro, that will that will mess you up, because the person that I'm looking up to and I'm getting my drive through is out of it. Like this big building that we got she didn't have. You know, I'm saying me and her had to put a down payment on this building and all the other two buildings. You know I'm saying me and her had to put a down payment on this building and all the other two buildings. You know I'm saying to, to, to get her mind to where it's supposed to be, because she didn't even want to close on it. I said, mama, this is a good deal we was talking about. I said, if I got to use my school money, I use my grant money to pay for this. You feel me and she wasn't there and I feel like this building and what we built you know for you know what I'm saying for her brand actually, you know, pushing her to the next level. But that was my biggest trauma experience is having your mother not be there mentally so who did you go to during that time?
Speaker 1:or did you just have to bottle it up for 10 plus years?
Speaker 4:man. I had to bottle it up because I was. I was her strength. I was a person that pushed her alone you.
Speaker 1:You had to be strong for her. I had to be strong for her exactly.
Speaker 4:I had to be strong for her. I had to push her along. I'm talking about building credit. I'm talking about everything From the ground up. We had to restart because she wasn't there mentally.
Speaker 1:Well, I can kind of relate to that as far as when my mom lost her mom, it really affected her. My maternal grandmother passed in maybe march of 2009 I may have the month right but um, it was 2000, 2008, 2009 when she passed and it was it was hard on my mom. She went through a deep depression, um, and you know it's somebody losing their mom, you know, and it's hard, um, and obviously she's since bounced back, but it took her years like that. You know she went through a deep depression that she got to where she didn't want to leave the house for a while and shout out to my father for just being able to be there and be supportive and know that she was going through something that was the most traumatic thing before or since she would ever go through. You know, grief is hard to deal with. Grief is a part of that mental health process and you can't tell somebody when it's time to move on from that.
Speaker 3:Oh you can't?
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Like my friend Kelsey, you know we talk, she's very intelligent and you know, when she lost a lot of family members at one time a few years ago, not just her, her family lost a lot of family members, and one thing that we continue to tell each other was feel what you need to feel as long as you need to feel it, and then move forward. And so that's not saying like, hey, it's been two weeks, it's been a month.
Speaker 1:It's feel what you need to feel as long as you need to feel it and then move forward and that's able to keep with me, even through whatever mental health struggles I've had. You know, most of my stuff has just been wanting to do a good job and make people proud, you know, and if I fail or don't succeed, I really carry that with me and I just try to again feel what I need to feel and then move on, because if I sit in that stuff, obviously I'll never be able to accomplish the things that I want to accomplish.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and like I ain't going to lie, bro, like lately, like well, no, that's one of the biggest things to me too is like you know, you want people to be like hey, man, I'm proud of you. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like, bro, you don't want to fail which we all going to fail at something, right, but you just don't want nobody. But I brought dude to fail him, but I, yeah, I just you know, it just means something to me when people say, hey, chad, I'm proud of what you're doing you know, like this right here makes me happy, like I've been, like like I've been at peace for a while, like with a lot of stuff, like I had to make
Speaker 3:it, but I'm still working on my happiness, like getting back happy, and this is one of the things that like us come to do this, like even when we it's once a month that we do it, but I but it's like one of my happiest times, I'm the happiest brother, I'm here with y'all and I get to do this, and now when I go around people amen, I'm proud of y'all, boo, y'all, keep it up, like, right, you know I'm saying like, like, but they bring me joy, but it's still some I would, you know, you still want. I'm still waiting to hear from she and my. I'm still waiting here for my, my pops, yeah, like come on but like are you proud or you know?
Speaker 3:I'm saying just let me know, are you?
Speaker 1:feel I always be won that from fathers in your life or not, whether they're here or not.
Speaker 3:Like I hear it from my two uncles daily hey, nephew, man, y'all boys doing your thing, but I'm still waiting on that. Hey, son, I'm proud of you, but that'll mean the world to me. And, like I said, relationship ain't the best right now, but you just saying that, but you don't know what that could do, what that could do to you.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. So I knew as a young man coming up and I was just blessed to be able to have not only my father but some other positive people in my life, kurt Spraggen being one of them. A great man, he served some time himself, but man a good man a good man.
Speaker 1:I said all that to say like one of the highest compliments I've ever gotten was from an older man, jc Bean I don't know if y'all know JC, that's G and M granddaddy and he told me. He said we were working, we were doing something working outside, and he said, boy, you work like your granddaddy. Man. I was like I was young, but man, that made me feel good because I think so highly of my grandfather, right, and if I work like him, that means something. And I said all that to say young masculinity is bestowed by other masculinity. Young men need to get those compliments from other men that they respect. Right, like if another man you respect never tell you he proud of you what you gonna feel, like you know what I'm saying and so if you don't have children, if you got nephews, if you got young brothers, tell them.
Speaker 1:You're proud of them you know what I mean, and they may not be doing the best right now, but just like you said, bro, he has said that's you, you don't. You don't know what that's gonna do to my confidence. Okay, let me get up and get this, that and the third together, because my dad proud of me.
Speaker 3:I don't want to let him down all right.
Speaker 1:So that's um, that. That that's a that's a really big thing is, in my opinion, is me and being able to build up other young men and show them like you're doing a good job. You don't know it all right now, but you're gonna get better. And you're gonna get better. And that's don't know it all right now, but you're going to get better and you're going to get better. And that's another thing too, at the end of the day is you do have to put in the work to get better. You know what I mean, because you can't be coddled to greatness, like you know. Yeah, we love you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we proud of you but we still got to get out here and cut the.
Speaker 3:It's a certain amount of things that have to be done, and so, and that's another thing, like if it's any young dudes out there, man, or even guys my age. If y'all just need a positive dude in your corner Just to tell you some positive words every day, or be there when you need somebody to listen and talk to, bro, y'all can DM me on any one of our social platforms or you can dm us on our personal ones. It don't matter bro, like like bro, because I just want to. I just want to get it to where it's easy for me to open up right, because like bro it's it's hard for us to open up, because once we do all these, are you soft?
Speaker 3:oh, he acting sassy. You know what I'm saying? That's another thing. Like like women, bro.
Speaker 4:Y'all got to chill on that we can't even play without being gay, Like y'all want us to open up to y'all.
Speaker 3:I see it on Facebook all the time. Y'all share the same post. Men, open up. We do care. When we open up, it's used against us, it's put on social media and y'all make fun of us so like come on, ladies.
Speaker 3:Hey, ladies, just cut us a little break. Man, y'all want us to open up. Bro, we'll do it Like. It might be hard for us to do it, especially me but I'll do it if I can Like, if I know that I can trust that you're not going to take what I tell you and use it on me when we get in an argument or something, and that's why I say that judgmental.
Speaker 4:Like, I'd rather not open up because you're going to judge me when we get into an argument. You're going to judge me when things don't go your way, Like I can't deal with this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like, don't judge me for anything that I'm telling you that I've been through, but just help me be the best present Chad that I can be, and that's hard.
Speaker 1:That's why mate selection like the person that you pick is so important, because you can't just open up to any and everybody. No, you can't Like. You know what I mean. It's some stuff that you really, really want to tell somebody and y'all fall out in six months. Is she going to let everybody know about that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what I mean, right, what I'm saying. Like I done had a situation. I have told a female I was, you know, we was vibing, or whatever. I tell her some stuff and we stop talking the next week, bro. So and so said I'm like what Sad, yeah, sad.
Speaker 4:I'd rather not even say it.
Speaker 4:But just to piggyback off what you said, with the guys that's out there, that's going through mental health or just going through problems, period. We are the platform that you can reach out to. We will not judge you Me, for example. So I'm a manager at my actual job and we pretty much hire a lot of young guys. So you know what you get when you get young guys come in. You get a lot of hood stuff or you get a lot of you know stuff that you're not used to. Bro, these guys are literally crying with. These guys are really, uh, literally, sorry, literally showing how to barbecue, like the simple things that I know how to do. I'm showing these guys so they going home with something and I don't even.
Speaker 3:I don't even know how to barbecue, like like you know. But I got men in my life teach me that, right, I just ain't because like, but I'm ADHD, like I can't sit yeah yeah, yeah. Like, but my mind would be on something else and I'd go out there and the damn burger would have went this little because they done burnt. So that's just something that I do want to learn, but I'm going to have to make myself sit there, thanks.
Speaker 4:I mean, I don't show you guys how to literally wash a car, because this is what I told and I always preach this. I said if you want a female, it's three things that you must know how to do Wash her car, mow the grass and gas up her car.
Speaker 1:And gas up the car.
Speaker 4:You got to be able to gas up her car. You got to have some money to at least gas up her car. I said you're going to keep your girl forever.
Speaker 1:With them. Three simple things.
Speaker 4:With those three simple things. That's my method. Oh, that's your method.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, everybody got their own method. I'm sending you to the detail shop because I don't know.
Speaker 3:A lot of times it do be the simple stuff that they appreciate.
Speaker 4:It's a simple thing If you can wash your girlfriend's car, you ain't got to worry about another man washing her car. I'm telling you You're right.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be real with you no, that's why I'm taking the car.
Speaker 1:That's why you don't let them go to the gas pump.
Speaker 4:I'm going to be real with you.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, hey, redbone, if you don't wash those cars, they will get your girl. Detail guys, why y'all like that Shit Coming?
Speaker 4:for the UFOs? No, the girl, the women throw themselves at them just for a, and I just my job. That's anywhere I would've been fired.
Speaker 3:All you want is a cow wash. I would've been fired.
Speaker 4:Man, listen, I would've called it. I'm just being real with you. I'm just being real with you so you can imagine how a guy that's making Eight dollars an hour Career deal Hammer your girl down. It's not about the money, bruh no, it's not about the money.
Speaker 3:No, hey, I'm telling y'all. I was just watching the Million Dollar Worth of Game interview With Drewski and they was just Talking about that Okay, they was like. These millionaires Back here Thinking there's another Millionaire Smacking that girl.
Speaker 2:That's what.
Speaker 3:I'm saying bro it's a nigga that Work at KFC right now.
Speaker 4:That's what I'm saying, cause he fucking For his life. Yeah, you feel me. Yeah, yeah, he fucking to stay in the house with you. He don't have nowhere to stay.
Speaker 1:I actually, we actually just talked about this At the barber shop the other day.
Speaker 4:Just think about it, just think about it, how guys move.
Speaker 1:When they stand with a.
Speaker 4:With a figure.
Speaker 1:They really gotta put in their work.
Speaker 4:They really put in their work. So they gonna give a whole hour Of work for hard meat. Whoa, I don't get it, that's.
Speaker 1:That was just being real.
Speaker 4:You know what?
Speaker 3:I'm saying yeah like the side dude Ain't got to put in no work, side dude ain't got to put in no work. Side dude, just get your nail done, he ain't got to worry about her Complaining to her If that.
Speaker 4:He got to worry about her Complaining to her, giving her feelings out. None of that, nothing. All he do is Text her back Whatever she got to do.
Speaker 1:If she complains, she complain about the other dude.
Speaker 2:Oh, she definitely complain.
Speaker 1:I want to wrap the show with this question, because I know we got off and had a good time and laughed right there, but this has been a great episode and this has been. This has been something that I feel like really need to be talked about. Chaz, I want to ask you a question. If the world was your audience and that camera was your microphone, what would you say?
Speaker 3:Man at the end of the day, man, just know, bro, it's going to be okay. Like, whatever you go through in life, bro, like every day the God opens your eyes. Bro, that's a new day for you to Be a better you Than you were yesterday. Yes, sir. Yes sir.
Speaker 4:Alright, man, this clearly said Um, like I said, hit up our Facebook, our Instagram, um, also, email us. We need emails. If you wanna collab For now on, hit the email, hit the DM. You know what I'm saying. Please do it. And everybody that we shout out man, we love y'all, even the people that we miss. I know, like O'Sheen mother, she actually helped me out and I'm going to write a book about it.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. Big shout out to my TT Crystal man. She wanted them one.
Speaker 4:But yeah, y'all just reach out to us. Go ahead, josh, close it out.
Speaker 3:Ain't do that quick, yo that hot. Could that conversation finish? Thank you,